...

I don't understand why I'm always beating myself up for everything. Or why I'm always sad. Lonely. Horny. Angry.
I take everything I have for granted. I've learned to appreciate more now. It doesn't change how selfish I am. I always keep asking for more..I don't care what other people need, I just care about myself. Even when I was getting the best present I could get...I didn't want it. Being a mother. Not everyone is made to handle it. Or want it really. She's beautifully, don't get me wrong. I'm not what a parent should be though. Too late to go back now.

waste of time.

i'm not sure about this. i'm hoping this stays hidden from the people in my real life.